So this is it…

I’m writing this as I sit in my mothers spare bedroom – in another county and a million miles away from the life I’ve lived for the last few years.

About 3 weeks ago – after trying to get my husband the mental help he so desperately needs he walked out of hospital into our house and assaulted me before throwing me out.

I called mental health services who told me I had to call the police. The police came, took me away, took a statement, then conducted something called a DASH – which showed that I was at risk of domestic abuse

As they went through the DASH I was shocked at how many Yes’s I answered. I couldn’t believe how isolated I had become – or how little in my life I was actually in control of. The police advised me that it wasn’t safe for me to go home.

At the time I thought this would be the push that mental health services would need to make sure he got the help he so desperately needs. How wrong could I be.

You see my husband (we will get round to calling him my ex soon I promise) thinks I am trying to kill him. He has suffered from delusions for a long time but last year these delusions turned to me…

Im trying to poison him (with food initially but now its also with the gas from the house)

Im sleeping with my ex (from 20 years ago)

Im sleeping with one of the girls I had surgery with (sorry girls – you are both gorgeous but im 100% gay as you can be 😉 )

Because of the things my husband thinks he has told mental health services that they cannot discuss his care with me. As they have refused to discuss his case with me they have made it unsafe for me to be with him and so after over 16 years together I have had to leave him.

So that’s how I end up staying in my mums spare room – trying to juggle keeping my professional life on track with my personal life in tatters.

There will be much much more of this – and Im hoping when I start to get my sense of humour back you will stick around for the fun times but in the meantime lets hope life really does begin at 50 and thanks for reading this far!