Asking for help

It’s never easy to admit that you need help.

I’m used to being the strong one – the person that can get things done and who doesn’t stress about the little things. But here I find myself, out of my depth, in completely foreign territory and trying to make sense of the nonsensical.

One of the things I’ve realised in this mess is that I cant do it on my own. I’m lucky that my family have stepped in and offered me a safe place to stay but without them I would be homeless.

I’m lucky that people have had the patience to understand that I haven’t been ready to make certain decisions. Its taken me many years to realise that I cant fix my ex and now having to make decisions about how to end the marriage when I have been in a victim of domestic abuse is hard.

I have spent many calls to the Samaritans – when I was at my worst trying to make sense of what was happening – They gave me the space to just talk, and say the things I couldnt say to anyone else. From this I’ve realised that I need some counselling. Ive taken steps to make this a reality but still feel very lost

I have been supported by Victim Support – who have been amazing at helping me navigate what to do and how to do it. I know I have some difficult conversations to come but they have encouraged but not forced me and I can start to see a way forward.

Friends have been amazing. When you are dealing with someone who isnt behaving rationally – who has thoughts you know aren’t true – you start to doubt your own sanity. Having friends who will listen and also call BS when you start taking blame for things that you havent is so important. Having those same friends tell you that you have tried everything – especially when you are trying to find other things to do to help – makes a huge difference.

I’ve also been in some amazing support groups. Talking to people who have been through similar experiences makes a huge difference and made me realise that I am not the only person to have been through this.

Asking for help has been the most important decision I made. Until I asked for help noone (and I mean noone) knew what I was going through.

Asking for help has made it possible for me to consider the impossible