Rebuilding my life

I’m sorry I’ve been a little quiet this week but I have finally started to take some actions I’ve been avoiding till now.

I have worked out that I don’t want to live in Brighton full time anymore – but I love my job so don’t want to give that up either. I’ve managed to arrange lodgings 3 nights a week in Brighton which means that I can now keep doing the job I love – working from home 2 days a week wherever home ends up being.

To that topic I’ve today just put an offer in on a flat – and its been accepted. So now I’m in the waiting game of making sure everything goes through. It does mean however that Im one step closer to having a home to call my own combined with a place to stay in Brighton which means I don’t have to give up my job. This makes me really happy.

And the good thing is – its actually cheaper than if I had tried to get a place in Brighton (which I just couldn’t afford if Im honest) and it does mean that if I do start going out and socialising Im not going to bump into my ex.

I spoke to my boss yesterday and discussed how I’m feeling about Brighton and she said that as long as I can continue to do my job she doesn’t care where I live. I’ve thought long and hard about this and whilst the commute is longer than most people would do – I’m not actually doing it daily and I’m only ever going to be a couple of hours away from the office in an emergency.

I also spoke to the police yesterday. As you know my ex has changed the locks on the house and so I cant get my property or my company laptop back. I have therefore made a statement about everything thats been going on and the police are going to take this forward.

This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Admitting that you are a victim of domestic abuse, however unintentional, is something I never thought I would do. Having someone read it back to you is impossible – and I’ll be honest I cried lots when I hung up from the policewoman who took my statement.

And lastly, I went out for a drink with an old and wonderful mate on Thursday. I was shocked at how easy it was to just pick up where we left off, sharing stories of whats been happening and meeting some new people too. It made me sad that I hadn’t been able to do this whilst with my ex. He wouldn’t have been comfortable with me being out with other men and definitely not in a gay bar.

Don’t get me wrong I have no desire to do anything with anyone right now but it was nice to be relaxed and not have to worry about what would happen when I got home. We laughed about stupid things and poked good natured fun at each other. I had such a good night that I missed my last train, and ended up crashing at my mates after fish and chips.

All in all it was a perfect evening and just a glimpse of what life will be like when I finally get back to being me .