As anyone that follows me on social media will be fully aware it was my birthday yesterday 🙂 Its safe to say that unlike my 30th and 40th birthdays I had actually been dreading turning 50.
But as I enter the 2nd half of my 100 years (hopefully) I needn’t have worried. I slipped elegantly into my 50s with a modicum of self respect and lots of family and friends.
Well some of thats true. I got spoiled rotten, got drunk, ate too much, laughed lots and had a blast. I spent time with people I haven’t seen for a long time and I got to play with some of my nephews – all in all a perfect day.
One of my oldest friends got lots of people from my life together to put together a video and picture album and I laughed so hard I cried – literally pictures that I hoped were lost in the annals of time were there plastered for all the world to see. I cannot believe how much people got involved to give me literally THE perfect gift. I actually cried but obviously no-one saw that!!
I am incredibly lucky and feel blessed to realise that actually people do care about me. Friends and family went above and beyond to make sure my day was special. From my family that gave me a birthday lunch OUT OUT with surprise balloons and a gorgeous cake, to and old family friend that turned up at the pub just to drop me a present and a card, to the friend I haven’t seen in over 20 years who drove over to drop off a handmade card so I got it on the day.
I also realise that life does begin at 50 and thats also good. I am laughing again, Im making friends again (old and new) and Im starting to enjoy life. I also took the opportunity on this special day to take a long hard look in the mirror and realised, yes Im a little saggy round the edges, and yes I have scars but this body is lived in and to be honest I’m doing ok for my age!!
And yes my ex called to wish me a happy birthday which I had been dreading as I knew how it would go. He started nicely and then got all mental healthy again which ended with me hanging up. Later that night (3am) he called again and left a message but by then I was long asleep.
People were worried how I would react. Someone asked how it made me feel and I will be honest that I was strangely zen. He has mental health issues and can’t help it. But I can’t help him anymore so after I thanked him for wishing me happy birthday I hung up and got on with my day and it truly didn’t phase me.
Thats actually a great feeling as it means Im healing and I guess thats one of the best birthday presents ever.
The Unapologetic life of a Gay Divorcee 