Changing my number

It’s been a trying couple of weeks.

As you know since I filed for divorce my ex has taken to calling me from a withheld number and ranting at me. This culminated with him leaving quite a threatening voicemail which left me feeling very unsafe.

After the events of last week I still procrastinated about changing my number. I felt that in changing my number my ex was controlling me still, that he had won and that I was losing yet another thing because of his mental health.

Everyone kept telling me that I should just change my number, but I kept making excuses. I didn’t want him to win, I didn’t want to have to give up yet one more thing because of him. I would rationalise it every which way, I needed the number for work, I needed to have access to all my different accounts through my number – it was too difficult to make the change. I needed a crime reference number, I needed to report them to the police

But they were just excuses.

So this morning I went online and chatted with an amazing person at my phone company. Once I explained the basics – literally one line, my ex has been sending me abusive messages, they made the change.

it took 15 minutes from start to finish. No difficult questions, no police report. Just compassion from the person at my phone company and a really easy transition. Once confirmed my number changed there and then.

I then spent less than an hour updating friends, family, work colleagues and companies I work with and a further hour updating my online accounts to work with this new number.

All in all in just 2 hours I updated everything so my ex can no longer decide he is going to message me and take his anger out at me

in just 2 hours I took back control

And you know what? I realised that he was controlling me by me not changing my number. Now I am in control again and for the first time since I left him – I feel safe answering my phone. Instead of feeling like Im losing something, Im gaining back even more freedom.

So if you are experiencing something similar know that you can take control and people will help you feel safe.