Im officially Divorced

Well I realise its been a long time since my last post and for that I apologise.

The last 8 months have been a real rollercoaster. Ive had some incredible highs and some real lows. I realised I wasn’t up to blogging during this time and took a break from writing things down for my mental health.

During this time I have been going through the process of getting divorced. Its a lot to go through but in the interest of other people who are trying to divorce someone who is not cooperative it does end.

Things they dont tell you…

You need to get a server or bailiff to deliver the order to your ex – if your ex isnt responding to court documents you need to get proof of delivery – and if you wait to go through the courts bailiff it takes much longer. I am lucky and I had enough money to get a private server and this is much easier and cheaper than you think. (cost me £120)

The conditional order

After filing for divorce things seemed to take forever. I filed in June and then didn’t get to hear that I needed to serve my ex till august. Then nothing happened till October at which point the court sat (neither of us attended) and I got issued my conditional order. At the time they tell you that it will be 6 weeks after the conditional order was granted that I would get my final order application.

The final order

Then one day in January – as I lay in bed with hot neighbour – I got the email I was waiting for. I could now apply for my final order. There are lots of warnings in that email about making sure you have a financial settlement in place. I panicked then realised that I had spoken to 2 lawyers and new the risks so decided there and then I was going to apply for the conditional order- and managed to do it on my phone!!

I was told that it would take up to a week for the final order to be granted – and then 15 minutes later got an email confirming that I was now divorced. I wont lie- i wept at that point!!

So thats it Im finally a gay divorcee – and free to get married again if i choose.

BUT things are not over. I havent got a financial settlement in place – and thats my risk. I havent ever been able to get my stuff out of our home and have had no contact with my ex since I changed my mobile.

I am letting the mortgage company sort out the house – and have told them to repossess but that will take a long time. I have given up on getting my things from the house. My family have been amazing and this Christmas mum turned up with copies of all of the photos she could find of me as a kid – photos which I lost when I moved.

Everything else is just stuff, and as I sit here in my lounge, feeling safe and loved I couldn’t really ask for anything more…